


Choose me instead

by Jossasund



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Swanqueen fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-23 00:09:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11391285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jossasund/pseuds/Jossasund
Summary: Regina is unhappy after Emma and Hooks wedding. She knows she belongs together with Emma but is it to late for her chance to get her happy ending?





	1. You're to good for Hook

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by the video “Choose me instead” by Keepaming on YouTube. :)
> 
> In the begging it's gonna contain Captain Swan but Swanqueen is the endgame!

It had been almost 1 month since Emma had married Hook. Regina had attended the wedding with her sister but it had been hard. Almost to hard. Because some part of Regina had hoped even until Archie had actually pronounced them as husband and wife, that Emma would leave Hook by the altar and take Regina's hand instead. But it had been nothing but a stupid dream. It hadn't happened. And it would never do. Instead the newlyweds had shared a kiss that had made Regina cringe.  _ You're too good for Hook. _

_ **** _

Henry had noticed his mother's sadness and knew it must have something to do with his birth mother Emma, but the teenage boy didn't know what to say or ask. He wasn't sure but he thought his adoptive mother maybe had feelings for her birth mother. But what could he do about it? He felt helpless. And It broke his heart and he decided go over to Zelena, and see if she could give him some advice on what to do.

*****

Regina hadn't even heard when Henry left the house, but she didn't have the energy to care anymore. Her Emma was gone.  _ Her Swan _ . She was devastated and just sat in her study by the fireplace with a glass of apple cider by her side as she looked through some pictures of Emma she had on her phone. She smiled at them all, especially those where Henry, Regina and Emma had done goofy faces and she remembered all those good times they had shared with tears in her eyes. Their time as a family. Without that stupid pirate in the background.

*****

_ “Hey kid!” Emma laughed and ruffled Henry's hair. He groaned because he was getting to big for this (at least in his eyes) but not in Emma's eyes. Regina just shook her head at them. They were so alike. They shared the same beautiful eye, had the same laugh and the same kindness. It wormed her heart. _

_ “Hi Regina” Emma smiled when saw Regina.They locked eyes for a while suddenly it was just them, alone I the whole universe. it was a wonderful feeling, neither of them wanted to end. But Henry always said something about them being so annoying, and brought them back. Emma always shrugged at it and gave Regina a wink before they looked back at Henry.  _

_ Regina had always wanted it to be a kiss. But it never was. And it would never be. _

That thought alone brought tears to Regina's eyes as she let her fingers touch her lips gently.  _ Emma I need you. _

****

When Emma had arrived to Storybrooke all those years ago, Regina had hated absolutely  _ everything _ about her, without even knowing exactly why. She took a sip of her cider and let her mind wander free for once. It wandered to Emma, as it always did.

Regina thought about their fights they had been through in the beginning, that had been both physical and emotional. And Regina smirked when she thought of how Emma had challenged her in a way none other had ever dared to. And it had not been just once, it had been numerous times. Emma didn't care that Regina was The Queen, and that had blown fresh air in Regina's face in some strange way. Emma saw her as just a person and had not even backed down when the Queen had gotten her magic back. No. Emma was the saviour and she wasn't afraid of anything as it seemed. But Regina knew there was one thing in the whole world that actually scared Emma. And that was to be alone.

Emma Swan was a badass. But deep inside she was still suspicious, afraid and broken. She had grown up as a foster kid, an orphan and that had left the blonde scarred for life. And Regina saw that, because she recognized that look in her eyes and that horrible feeling.

But none other seemed to noticed that. Not even her most mother. Her parents just pushed Emma to find someone and when hsf Hook showed up they had almost pushed them together, even if the relationship was wrong. Hook was a bad man but he's sins were forgotten in a matter of seconds as Regina had to prove herself still, even if it had been years since she had parted from her darkness. But nobody listened to Retina as she said Hook wasn't worthy Emma. That he was nothing but a psychopath and that she was convinced he hurted Emma in some way. But nobody didn't listen to Regina. She was a villain, and nobody listened to a villain. Especially not the heroes.

Regina knew Henry also noticed all the small warning signs, because he was a smart boy. But he didn't speak up. And his adoptive mother didn't blame him. Henry liked Hook, at least tolerated him because he wanted a father figure in his life since Neal had died so suddenly. 

 

****

Regina remembered when the curse broke and how the blonde had actually stood by Regina's side, much to the Queens surprise The saviour had protected her when the townspeople had regained their memories  as they stormed Regina's mansion with torches and spikes. Snow had just huffed at the whole thing, because she wanted Regina to pay for her sins and seeing her daughter protect her… it was wrong. A hero shouldn't defend a villain, but the saviour did. And that wasn't something you didn't read about in the storybooks so often. 

 

****

Regina had repressed her feeling towards Emma for years. But they had always been close and sharing Henry made to a family in some way. But Hook destroyed that when he came into the picture. He and Regina didn't like each other so the blonde spent less time with Regina as the time passed. And Henry felt torn because he wanted both his mother's to be happy. 

 

****

Regina had expressed her feelings towards Emma once. The only time she had been couregues enough had been at hooks and Emma's rehearsal dinner before the wedding. At it had gone to hell. What had she thought would happen?  _ I'm so stupid.  _

 

_ “Miss swan” Regina smiled as she took yet another glass of wine as se grabbed the blonde. Emma was so drunk she couldn't even stand on her feet. Regina swung her arm around her and dragged her to the back of the diner, away from all the people. She saw in the back of her eye that Snow seemed to hold a close eye on them. Regina didn't care.  _

 

_ “Regina, what the hell” Emma laughed as she practically stumbled over her as they sat down in the booth. “What are you doing?”  _

_ “Emma i need to tell you something…” Regina breathed out and the blonde raised an eyebrow.  _

_ “I guessed so much” Emma smiled and Regina took a deep breath.  _

_ “I love you” Regina blurted out and looked down on her hands.  _

_ “Ehm what?” the saviour stuttered as Regina looked up.  _

_ “I. love. You” Regina spelled out and watched as Emma's face become almost white.  _

_ “You do?”  _

_ “Yes Miss Swan. I do. And I want you to leave Hook and be with me instead” _

_ Emma glanced over the packed diner. It was full of people who loved her. People she loved. And their was Hook of course. She groaned as she looked back at Regina.  _

_ “You know that's not possible” Emma shrugged. “I can't..” _

_ Regina nodded and offered the blonde a sad smile.  _

_ “Regina I'm so sorry”  _

_ “It's no problem. I guess I should have said something sooner.” Regina shrugged and brushed away some tears, before Emma even noticed them.  _

_ “Promise?”  _

_ “Yes Miss Swan. I just wanted you to know” Regina said as the blonde leaned in close, letting their lips brush against each others.  _

_ “If everything had been different Regina. I would have chosen you. I love you to” with those words Emma pressed her lips against Regina's and it was the best kiss Regina had ever experienced. Sadly it was over as soon as it begun. _

Regina groaned at the memory. Why hadn't she spoke up earlier? Why hadn't she just told Emma just about how she felt? The queen shook her head at herself and downed the cider. She didn't feel alive without Emma. 

 

**You're too good for Hook.**

 

Tbc?

 


	2. A true queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the reviews on the first chapter. And here you go, chapter two! Keep those comments coming because they are writing-fuel :) 
> 
> And thanks to my Tory, who is my beta on this story. 
> 
> Now let's get this show started!

Chapter 2 

 

Emma watched as Hook stumbled back to the bar to order yet another glass of rum. He had been constantly drunk for days now and she wondered if he would always be like this. And if this was her life now. Emma shook her head and took a small sip of her coke and wondered if she had done the right thing marrying Hook or if she had fucked up everything. 

 

Hook was sweet and kind but did she really love him? Or had she just clung to him as the easy way out of being alone? She had maybe listened too much to her mother ramble on about Blue’s fairy dust telling her Hook was her one true love. Emma didn't believe in all that fairy tale crap and yet here she was, married to Captain Hook. A man who had gotten grumpy because Emma had refused to spend her honeymoon on his ship Jolly Roger. 

 

But Hook had another side to his sweet and charming behavior the world saw. He was the master of manipulation and he controlled Emma in a way. She had always been a free spirit and a independent woman, mostly due to the fact that she had grown up as a foster kid and lived on the streets. That bit of Emma's personality was something Hook was determined to repress, because he wanted total control. Emma knew he could be dangerous and sometimes she was glad she could defend herself when he got angry with her about something. 

 

*****

  
  


Emma thought of Regina and the night before her wedding, her rehearsal dinner. That night when Regina had confessed her love for the blonde and how Emma had panicked and turned her down. Her heart ached as she thought of it because no matter what the whole fairytale bullshit said, the Saviour knew the Queen was the one for her. 

 

Emma was anxious and realised Hook had wandered away somewhere. Usually she went and looked for him but after doing that every day for almost a month she actually looked the other way for just this time because she was so tired. She missed her home. Her son. And Regina.  _ Her Regina.  _

  
  


*****

“Henry!” Zelena smiled as she opened the door. “What a pleasant surprise. Come in” 

“Thanks.” he replied and stepped inside the old house.

“You want anything to drink?” she asked but the boy just shock his head. “Well what's on your mind then?” 

“Ehm. I'm worried about mom. She hasn't been herself after Ma's wedding. She doesn't even cook anymore. I have to make sure even she eats at all! She just sits in her study and thinks. I don't know what I should do.” Zelena nodded at him and took a deep breath. She knew Regina had not been herself since the wedding and she knew all this had to do with Emma. 

 

*****

 

“Emma!” Snow almost squealed and Emma actually had to hold her phone a long way from her ear or else she knew she would become deaf. 

“Hi Mom.” Emma said tiredly. 

“Hold on, I'll put the speaker in so Charming can hear you. Just. Wait.” Snow said and Emma just sighed. She knew how slow her mother could be when it came to technology.

“Can you hear us?” Snow asked. 

“Yes Mom,” Emma chuckled. “I miss you guys. How is everything at home?” 

“We miss you too darling. Everything is just fine here.” David replied. 

“Oh, and Regina? I mean.. “  _ Fuck.  _ Emma could almost see her mother raise her eyebrow to Emma's question and the blonde suddenly panicked. Thank God that her father wasn't as judgemental as her mother. 

“Regina is fine. I guess. We haven't actually seen her around so much.” he said.

“And Henry is good if you wanted to know!” Her mother snapped. Emma just rolled her eyes as she saw Hook stumble over the beach. 

“Sorry guys but I gotta go ehm. Hook and I are getting some food” Emma said and ended the call before they had a chance to even say goodbye. 

 

****

Emma sighed after she finally had gotten Hook to bed. It was still early in the afternoon but he was too drunk to function so he needed some sleep and Emma well, she needed to be alone. She closed the door to the wedding suite behind her and headed out. 

 

She decided to sit down by the water and was glad she found some shade in a spot away from all the people. She tapped on her phone and wondered if she should call Regina. She had wanted to do that every day since she came here but she hadn't had the guts to and she knew Hook would be furious if he caught them talking but now she had her chance. So the blonde took a deep breath and dialed the Queen's number. 

 

****

 

Regina blinked her eyes open and groaned. She was not in the mood for talking to anyone but something told her to at least check the phone and when she saw who was calling she smiled. 

“Miss Swan.” Regina said as she answered. “How is the bride?” 

“Ugh, don't ask” Emma groaned and Regina sat up in her bed, raising an eyebrow at the reply. “How are you?” 

“I'm good dear. But the town is missing it's sheriff.” Regina said and felt her heart ache.  _ And I miss you too  _ she thought to herself but she didn't dare to say it out loud. 

“Yeah? Any demons I've missed while I've been away?” Emma smirked. 

“No dear, but I'm sure they are waiting for you to come home before they show up.” Regina chuckled into the phone. 

Emma felt a smile spread on her lips. It was so good to finally hear Regina's voice again and she knew the feelings she had for the Queen were wrong. Or? Of course they were. Emma was a married woman and she shouldn't have feelings for anyone else but her husband. Emma rolled her eyes. And such a husband he was.  _ Or not. _

“Yeah, I guess.” Emma replied. “And how's Henry? Is he doing good? I mean, he's not spending too much time with my parents?” Regina wondered what Emma meant with the last comment but she chose not to ask.

“Oh no dear. He's living with me at the moment and when he's not here, he's with my sister. So don't worry. Snow isn't brainwashing him.” 

“Thank God!” Emma said and the reply made the both women burst out into laughter. 

 

****

 

They talked for what felt like hours but Emma knew she had to hang up before Hook became suspicious. And the bruise she had under her sleeve from the other day still hurted like hell. She shook her head and told Regina to tell Henry she said Hi as she ended the call. Emma put her phone in her pocket  and looked up at the blue sky. How had she ended up like this? How could she have allowed herself to end up with a guy like Hook? 

 

He was just like all the other assholes she had met over the years but back then she had ended it long before the second date. And now she had married him. How? Emma dragged her fingers through her long, blonde hair as she reached down for a cigarette. She didn't know why she had started to smoke but it helped her relax. And she could see how the Queen would have been furious with her if she saw her now.

 

****

Emma knew she had done a lot of dumb shit in her life, but she had been alone. Nobody had told her what she should or shouldn't do. And now she had suddenly listened too much to the people around her and not to herself. Hook had come in like a fucking prince in her mother's eyes, except instead of riding a horse, he had been on a ship. And well he had been sexy, Emma could admit to that. Because he was. And he had been so good with Henry. 

 

But what about her? He had forced her to change who she was thanks to him. He wanted a woman he could control. And Emma was like a wild horse to him, that needed to be tamed. But that had happened behind closed doors and the blonde didn't even even remember the first time he had struck her. But he was good to her most of the time, so? 

“What the hell have I done?” Emma sighed and threw away her cigarette. What the hell had she got herself into? Why had she married this slob and turned down someone as beautiful as Regina? **A true queen**. 


	3. Emma should have married me instead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all comments. Keep them coming! :)

  
After talking with Emma, Regina felt more at ease, just knowing the blonde still thought   
about her and actually cared. The Queen felt happy, maybe for the first time in months so   
when Henry found her in the kitchen, he couldn't believe his eyes.   
“Hi Mom.” he said and sat down by the kitchen counter.   
“Hi Henry.” Regina replied and met his curious eyes.   
“Are you feeling better?” he asked carefully and Regina froze for a second. Of course he had noticed the sudden change in her behavior. He was so smart and thoughtful. He saw what nobody else did. He reminded her of Emma so much it ached.   
“A little.” she shrugged and returned her focus to her apple cake.

  
“Ehm Mom, can I ask you something?”   
“Sure dear.” she replied, even if she knew what he was probably gonna ask.   
“Oh ehm okay. Promise you won't get angry?” Regina looked up and met his eyes with a smile.   
“Promise.”   
“Are you sad about Ma marrying Hook?”

  
Even if the question was expected the Queen nearly dropped the ingredients she held in her hands. She cleared her throat and sighed. Had it been so obvious? Of course it had. She was about to panic when she felt Henry drag her into a tight hug. The move itself surprised her but she relaxed in her son's arms. He was so kind to her and she was so happy he knew she wasn't evil anymore. She was just his Mom. A person he loved.

  
***

  
“I.. I..” Regina who always was forward and said what she wanted, suddenly felt her voice   
crack. It made her nervous but Henry just smiled at her.   
“It's okay Mom. You can tell me.” he said with a gentle tone as they were sitting in the living room. Regina dragged her fingers through her hair and tugged on her lower lip.   
“Yes.” Regina suddenly sighed. “Emma should have married me instead.”

  
“So you finally admit you have feelings for her?” Henry asked with a grin and winked at his adoptive mother. He had noticed their chemistry and had always hoped they would end up together but they never did.   
“I guess.” Regina shrugged. “I'm sorry.”   
“Huh?” Henry frowned. “Why are you sorry?”   
“Because Hook is Emma's  **true** love and I'm destined to live alone.” Regina replied and   
looked down on her hands as the tears burned in her eyes. She had lost Daniel and she had lost Robin. Everyone she had loved, disappeared. And now Emma had too.

  
******

  
“Hi love.” Hook said to his wife as Emma entered their suite. The blonde just nodded at him and knew she would regret that move as he grabbed her arm.   
“Please Hook.” Emma said carefully.

“You have talked with that bitch now, haven't you?” Hook spat and stood up, cupping   
Emma's head in his hand and forced her to meet his look.   
“No, I haven't.” Emma shot back.   
“Love, I know you have. You always get so nonchalant afterwards.” Hook growled. “Give me your phone.”

  
“Absolutely not!” Emma replied and pushed him backwards. “You can't take everything from me!”   
“Oh love, you should know by now that I can” Hook shrugged and sat down, pouring himself a shot of rum. Emma bit her lip and blinked away her tears. How the fucking hell had she ended up with this man? Emma said something about needing a shower and locked the bathroom door behind her.   
  


She was starting to hyperventilate and climbed into the shower with shaking hands. She thought of herself and her upbringing. Her life as an orphan and how she had always been alone. She had promised herself she would find her family someday and little did she know it would end with living in a town full of fairytale characters.   
“Fuck.” Emma groaned to herself as the thought of Regina entered her mind again. How could she have turned her down? She was the last one Emma thought of before she fell asleep and the Queen was the first one she thought about when she woke up.

Hook had been nothing but a fling to her but she had let her mother decide too much because well, Emma was terrified that if she said no, that she would end up alone. And that was something she never wanted to be again. She shivered and turned up the heat of the water, hoping it will wash away all her anxiety but it didn't. It never did.

  
*****   
  


Henry and Regina decided to have a movie night at the mansion. Snow had been by and   
tried to get Henry to go home with her but Henry had shook his head and said his mom   
needed him more than her. Regina had grinned to herself when she heard Henry say that, she smirked even more as she used her magic to close the door right in Snow's face.   
“So, what do you want to see?” Regina asked as she used her magic to fix the snacks. The are some perks to having magic, especially when she didn't want to leave the house. She filled the table with crisps, dip, candy, some Cokes and for herself a bottle of wine and cheese with crackers. She ruffled Henry's hair and sat down on the couch.

Without even noticing it herself, the Queen looked over at the place in the couch Emma always sat. Henry   
saw the sadness in her eyes and laid his hand on her shoulder. Regina flinched and gave her son a sad and crooked smiled.   
“I miss her too Mom.” He said.

  
****   
  


When Emma came out of the shower she was relieved to see that Hook wasn't there. He had left a note on the bed, saying he needed to be alone. Emma just huffed and rolled her eyes. What the hell did he need to be alone for? It wasn't like he was having a crush on someone and... What the hell? Emma frowned at her own thoughts.

“Who the hell am I kidding?” she said to herself. The Saviour didn't just have a crush on the Queen. No. She  _ loved _ her. As she had almost since that first day. Regina was maybe the most beautiful woman Emma had ever laid her eyes on. She had never said it aloud to someone, well except for Ruby, that the blonde was interested in both girls and guys. And Regina she was…. Breathtaking.

  
She was a bitch, literally, to Emma when she had arrived to Storybrooke but there was something in her brown eyes that Emma fell for within seconds. And along the way the both women had become friends and they fought against both monsters and dragons, side by side. They had each other's backs and they enjoyed each other's company. But then Hook showed up as well as Robin. Emma had backed off even if nothing had ever happened between the two woman. But there had been moments and Emma cursed herself for not making a move.   



	4. Am I not worthy of a happy ending?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments. Keep them coming, because they make my day :) 
> 
> Enjoy!

Emma counted down the days until they was gonna go home. She was sick of this honeymoon or what it now was. She didn't care. The only thing Emma wondered about was how life was gonna be as they came back home. Hook had instead on moving but Emma had refused. She said she couldn't move away from her son or her family that she had looked for her whole life.

To her surprise he had back downed and let her get her way. But he wasn't sure if he wanted her to go back and work as the sheriff. Hook was still living in his fairytale world and thought Emma should stay home and take care of the kids. Emma had almost lost her breath. Kids???! She had a kid already. She didn't want any more kids and she wasn't to woman you even wanted near a kitchen. But she had just smiled and hook and given him a kiss. 

 

****

Regina was out walking with her sister Zelena and her baby Robin. The two sisters had a close relationship nowadays and it was one of the few people Regina had in her life she actually could trust. They were talking about almost everything but Regina made sure to not mention Emma's name at all, making her sister quite suspicious. Henry had been over to her place a few times and talked about his birth mother and adoptive mother, saying he was sure they had feelings for one and other. So Zelena knew but she didn't want to push her sister to hard, so she played along.

That was until they walked by the police station and Regina stopped by Emma's old bug. 

“This old car.. I can't belive it still works” Regina said, more to herself then to her sister and Zelena rolled her eyes. 

“Regina, I'm not stupid you know” She said and Regina snapped her head into her direction. 

“What do you mean, dear?” Regina asked and her sister was as clumsy as always so she didn't realize she shouted the words. 

“I know you have feelings for Emma Swan!” 

 

Regina froze but before she had the chance to reply she noticed the door to the police station being open and there Snow stood. Her nostrils were flaring and her eyes were dark as she looked at Regina.  _ Oh no.  _

“Do you?!” Snow snapped and walked up to Regina. 

“Do I what,  snow?” Regina snarled and gritted her teeth. She shot her sister a fast glare and Zelena took a step backwards. This was gonna be ugly.

 

“Is that… thing” Snow said with disgust in her voice. “True? Do you have feelings for my daughter?” Regina wasn't afraid of snow, and even if they had come over this whole situation from their past, they still didn't like each other. Emma was the only reason Regina even said hello to the fairytale princess that still made her blood boil.

“Yes I have feelings for miss Swan!” Regina growled and Snow's eyes became even darker and the Queen smirked to herself as she saw the anger rise in the ‘hero'.

“I hope you won't dare to destroy Emma's and Hooks marriage because of your… stupid feelings!” 

“So you rather want your beloved daughter to be together with a abusive ashole?!” 

“Stop with that crap Regina. Hook is a good man. And he treats Emma as a princess!” 

“Oh! Maybe that's the first thing he has gotten wrong. Emma isn't a Princess!” Regina snarled. 

“You're not gonna get even close to Emma when she comes home from her honeymoon, Mark my words. And stop bad talking Hook. He is good for her!” 

 

“Hey! What's going on out here?” David asked as he joined them outside the station. He was active sheriff when Emma was away.  “Snow, what's wrong?” Regina took a step backwards and felt a bit sorry for David. He had adapted to this world better than his stuck-up wife. Sadly he let her take the most of decisions in their life.  _ And here we go.  _ Regina thought to herself as snow opened her stupid mouth again.

“This woman says she has feelings for our Daughter! Our  _ married  _ daughter!” Snow snapped and David looked up at Regina and the Queen saw Emma had the same kind eyes as her father. 

“You do?” he asked carefully, ignoring his furious wife. Regina sighed and nodded her answer. She knew she should have stayed in her house forever. Nobody wanted her out here. Nobody had a need for her. Henry was a teenager now and could take care of himself. The Queen didn't have a purpose anymore. A wave of sadness and migraine hit her like a punch to her face and she waved with her hand and disappeared in a whirl of purple smoke. She was too tired for this.

 

***

Regina had been told what to do and what to feel her whole life. She had never gotten the chance to actually be happy and enjoy life. She had been merely a child when her mother gave her away to Snow's father. Already as a child Regina had been controlled and afraid. And at some point she had finally let the darkness consume her heart. She didn't ask for much really. She just wanted love. And someone to love. But nothing ever worked out for her. It all just ran though her hands like sand. And she was just so tired. 

  
**Am I not worthy of a happy ending?**


	5. This is my fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep them comments coming. :D

When Henry came home after being with some friends he found that the mansion was awfully quiet. That worried him. And when he didn't see his mom in her study he started to panick.

“Mom? Mom are you home?” he shouted but didn't get an answer. He started to run through the house and suddenly noticed the lights from the bathroom. He took a deep breath but as he opened the door he almost lost his balance. 

“MOM!” he screamed and ran up to his mother. She was lying in the bathtub with her wrists slit. Henry managed to not break down in tears as he dragged his mom up from the tub. How he got the strength to actually lift her out of the tub and put her down on the floor, he didn't know. He guessed it was because his body pumped with adrenaline. 

“mom?” no response as he tried to shake her. “Mom, come on. Please. Mom!” 

 

****

Emma couldn't shrug of the feeling that something was wrong with Regina. She felt anxious and wanted nothing else but to call her but Hook and she was out and eating and he didn't allow her to fiddle with her phone at times like that. Emma groaned and tried to eat the food in front of her, but she wasn't hungry. 

“Everything Alright, love?” Hook asked and Emma gave him a smile. 

“Yes darling” Emma replied and she felt sick to her stomach. She had to do something about all this. She couldn't continue a life with this asshole. 

 

*****

Regina blinked her eyes open slowly and realised she wasn't home. Where the hell was she? The queen felt how her much her wrists hurt and suddenly reality caught up with her. She had tried to commit suicide. And she had been alone? So why was she still alive and how on heart had she ended up in the hospital?

Then Regina understood it had to been Henry that had found her and called 911. She felt terrible for it and cursed under her breath. She couldn't even take her own life without failing. 

 

“Regina, how are you feeling?” Dr Whale asked as he entered the room. 

“What do you think” Regina snapped. “Where's my son?” 

“He was on his way down to the cafeteria. He will be back soon. Don't worry” Regina only nodded a response. She was too tired to talk  

_ Emma I need you. So much. _

 

_ ***** _

The disadvantage with living in such a small town as Storybrooke , was that the gossip traveled fast. So when Zelena was sitting at grannys she heard some of the dwarfs talking about her sister, complaining over that the Queen was still alive and that was a pity. Zelena grabbed grumpy and literally pushed him up against the walls. 

“Hey what are you doing!” he said as her grip around him only tightened. 

“Don't  **ever** talk about my sister like that again!” Zelena snapped and let go of him. Grumpy looked at his friends and they all decided to leave. Zelena huffed and returned to her table as Ruby joined her. 

“You okay Zee?” Ruby asked carefully and Zelena met the eyes of the waitress. She knew the wolf had been one of Snow's best friends, at least Regina had told her, but she had said also Ruby wasn't hat anymore, so Zelena knew she could probably talk to her without hearing gossip about her sister. She didn't even understand what the ugly dwarf had meant about what he had said. 

 

“I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry” Zelena shrugged and was surprised when Ruby leaned closer. 

“He deserved that” the wolf smiled. “I'm sick of his stupid mouth but I can't throw him out since he actually pays for his food. And granny is kinda friends with that idiot so. You did me a favour” 

“So your grandmother is still friends with snow I guess then?” 

“Yeah. Sadly enough” Ruby shrugged and sat down at Zelena's table. 

“And you're not?” she added. 

“Nah. I guess after the curse broke I actually got to see Snow's true color's so to speak and damn she's a real bitch!"

Zelena smirked at Ruby and took a sip of her coffee as Ruby continued. 

“I have seen Regina's true colors now too and she's nothing but a misunderstood woman, just like me you know? My heart goes out to her and I'm sad I didn't get to know her in the enchanted forest.” 

“Yeah she would probably done good with a wolf as a pet” Zelena smiled when granny joined them. Her face was pale and her eyes screamed of panic, making both Ruby and Zelena feel uncomfortable. 

“Henry.  Henry called.. Regina.. She's at the hospital!” 

 

*****

After the dinner the newlyweds went back home to their suite. Hook fell asleep by the TV and Emma walked outside to the balcony and sat down. The sun was going down and it was beautiful. She sighed and wished Regina was sitting by her side and holding her hand. 

_ Fuck Emma. You're so fucking in love. How can you have tried to deny this to yourself? _

The saviour signed as she put in her headphones and turned on some music. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes and when her phone suddenly buzzed, Emma snapped her eyes open within seconds. 

“Ma?” Emma heard and she smiled when she heard her son's voice. Then that uneasy feeling joined Emma again. That feeling she had been stuck with the whole evening. That something was wrong with Regina.  _ Her Queen.  _

“Hi kid, is everything okay?” 

“Nah not exactly” Henry sighed into the phone. 

“What's wrong? Are you hurt?” Emma started to pace back and forth on the balcony and without even thinking about it, she placed a cigarette in her mouth and lighted it. 

 

“I'm okay. Well I'm not hurt. But mom she's..” 

“What's wrong with Regina??!” Emma snapped and froze in her place. 

“She's in the hospital she…” Henry took a deep breath and Emma was shaking now. “She tried to commit suicide.” 

 

**This is my fault.**


	6. Please forgive me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible trigger warning in this chapter!

Emma felt her heart almost stop. Had she actually heard right? No she hadn't. She couldn't.

“Ma? Are you still there?” Henry asked as the blonde had become silent. 

“Yeah kid… I'm here” Emma answered as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. This couldn't be happening..!

“Ma, I want you to come home. I'm scared..” Henry sighed and Emma nodded before she realised her son couldn't see her. 

“Has she woken up?” Emma asked anxiously, knowing she dodged her son's question and she felt terrible for it. But she knew Hook would never let her go home because Regina was in the hospital. He would just probably shrug and say it was bad she hadn't actually died. Emma shivered and tugged on her underlip. This was her fault. 

“I think so.. You want to talk to her?” Henry frowned, wondering why his birth mother had avoided his question. 

“Yeah kid..” Emma replied. 

 

****

Regina didn't dare to look at Henry when he entered her room. She felt terrible and was so ashamed. 

“Mom?” he said carefully and the Queen still looked down and wrapped her arms around herself. “Mom?” he repeated and she decided to finally met his eyes. He didn't say anything more when he got eye contact. He just held out his phone for her. She frowned but took it in her hand and put it next to her ear. 

 

****

It felt like it took forever before Regina picked up the phone. She didn't say anything but Emma heard on the breathing it was her Queen on the next line. 

“Regina?” the saviour asked as her voice broke. 

“Yes miss Swan…” she mumbled. 

“Why?” Emma just questioned and lighted one more cigarette. “Is this because off me?” she added as Regina still hadn't answered her question. 

“Emma… I.. I don't know. I'm just tired of…” 

“Being alone?” Emma asked and cut her off. 

“Yes” Regina signed into the phone. 

 

“This is all my fault” Emma said after awhile of silence. “All this is my fucking fault. Please forgive me” 

“You have found your happy ending miss Swan. I just have to accept that. So you don't have anything to apologize for” Regina said, her voice cracking as well. She was glad in a way that Emma couldn't see her now. She looked terrible. She was so tired and so broken. She wasn't a queen anymore. She was a fucking wreck.  _ Love is weakness Regina,  _ she heard her mother say in her head. Over and over again. 

 

****

_ You have found your happy ending miss Swan  _ spun around in Emma's head and the blonde didn't know if she should laugh at it or cry. Hook wasn't her happy ending, despised what the hell that fucking fairy had told her. But yet her she was, married to a man who beat her. She didn't know what to say. Her first feeling was to leave. To run. But not to anywhere, no. She had someone to run to and that person was Regina. Emma reached down for yet another cigarette and felt how she wanted to scream. This was her fault. She was the reason Regina was in the hospital, even if the Queen denied it, Emma knew that she was lying.

 

****

Emma sat with her phone in her hand and just listened to Regina's breathing. It calmed her down in some way but suddenly the balcony door behind her opened.  _ Fuck.  _ She dried her eyes fast and looked back to hook. 

“I hope you aren't speaking with  _ her _ ” Hook snarled and his eyes went black. Emma shook her head and hated she didn't dare to stand up to him. 

“No darling, I'm just speaking with Henry” Emma replied with a false smile and he just nodded at her. 

“Wrap it up love and come inside. Okay?” he said, or more  _ ordered  _ and shut the door behind him before Emma had the chance to reply. 

“I'm sorry but.. Fuck. I gotta go..” 

“It's okay miss Swan.” Regina said and tried to hid the fact it hurt her to hear Emma sound so fragile and afraid. She would never treat Emma like Hook did. Emma was precious and deserved to be treated as such. “I'll try to call ya tomorrow” Emma said and ended the call. 

 

****

Regina held the phone to her ear long after Emma had ended the call. She felt terrible. She just continued to hurt the people she loved. Just like always. 

“Mom?” Henry asked when he reentered the room again but Regina didn't reply. She just gave back his phone. “I'm sorry. I just.. I freaked out and called her. I'm sorry” 

“Henry, don't feel bad. You did what you felt was best” Regina replied as the door flew open. 

“Oh my god. Regina!” Zelena exhaled and ran into the room, accompanied with Ruby. Regina frowned but didn't say anything. She knew Ruby was trustworthy. 

 

****

A couple of days later it was finally time to go home. Emma couldn't be more relieved, even if the anxiety was nagging. Hook was probably gonna be even more controlling now and she didn't know how she was gonna be able to handle this. But one thing was sure, she had to end this. And the bruises she had on her stomach told her that too. She didn't even remember why he had hit her this time, but that didn't matter. It felt like as soon as the ‘true emma’ shined trough, he got violent. But he was smart. He didn't hurt her on places on her body that I would be seen by other people. 

 

****

After the whole hospital visit, Zelena had moved into the mansion. Regina had said it was unnecessary but her sister had refused to leave. And Henry, he was home every day. He barely left the house and Regina felt terrible and like she was a burden to her family even if she didn't speak up. She had found another way to relieve her anxiety and that was through cutting. 

 

The Queens arms looked just like they done before before this whole “thing”, since she had just magic to take the scars away. She didn't want to be reminded of how stupid and depressed she actually was so magic came to handy even this time. 

 

Now the broken Queen was sitting on the bathroom floor, head against the tub and letting the razor blade dance over her skin. Because she had magic, she could make the cuts disappear as she wished, so her body was a fresh canvas for her paintbrush as she wished. But that nagging feeling of wanting to end it all was still there but she refused to give in. Not for her own sake, no, but she didn't want either Henry to find her again or Zelena. If she should end it all, she wanted to do it right this time and not burden her family. 

 

As the blood poured from her thighs, Regina felt her lungs getting filled with air. It was a weird feeling but it felt like she suddenly could breath again. But even if the anxiety was smaller now, she still felt she had nothing to live for. But suddenly she heard a voice she thought she was never gonna hear again and it was almost like her broken heart started to beat once again. 

 

_ Emma  _


	7. I'm gonna fight for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you guys get a chapter that actually were 3 different chapters but I thought you guys deserved a long one so, this is a treat for you! 
> 
> Unfortunately you're gonna have to wait for another update.
> 
> But keep the comments coming and if you have any idea for the fic, let me hear them.

Emma hated the fact that she used Henry as a excuse for seeing Regina, but what should she else do? Hook had just mumbled something but had allowed her to go. Hook couldn't deny her of seeing her son and that Emma was glad for. But she knew it wouldn't be long before he would.

 

The Saviour took a deep breath before she finally knocked on the door to the mansion and frowned when Zelena opened. 

“Oh miss Swan” she said with a smirk and the blonde smiled back to her. 

“Hi Zee, is Regina in?” the blonde asked, suddenly feeling nervous. 

“Yeah I guess she's upstairs, come in” Emma nodded and stepped inside. Henry saw her within seconds and ran into her arms, almost knocking her off her feet. 

“Hi kid” Emma chuckled and embraced him. He was maybe a teenager but the blonde still saw him as that little teen year old that had showed up outside her door so many years ago. 

“I missed you ma” he said and just tightened the hug before he reluctantly let her go. 

 

****

 

“Miss swan” Regina said when she saw the blonde in the hallway. She offered her a smile in reply before she almost attacked the brunette with a gigantic hug. The move surprised Regina but she relaxed in her saviours arms. 

“I'm so sorry Regina. It's all my fault” Emma whispered, and the Queen felt her eyes tear up. “I'm so so sorry” 

“It's okay Emma. I'm still here ain't I?” Regina said carefully and met the blonde's eyes. They were so beautiful, so much more beautiful then she even remembered. How could that be? 

“Yeah but.. You could have… died..” Emma stuttered and dried her eyes. “You could have died because of me. And if you had.. I would never forgiven myself..” 

 

****

 

“I'm glad you're back” Regina said with a gentle tone in her voice as they sat in the Queens study. 

“I'm glad to be back” Emma replied and suddenly blurted out “I've missed you”. The blonde blushed but called down when she  felt Regina squeeze one of her hands. The Saviour carefully looked up and met the Queens eyes. 

“I've missed you to” Regina replied and Emma felt her heart skip a beat. How could she have turned down his woman? This breathtaking Queen?  _ I'm so fucking stupid.  _

 

_ **** _

Emma stayed for a couple of hours and even she had spent some time with Henry she hadn't been there to see him. She had come for Regina and just used him as an excuse. And that felt horrible so before Emma left she asked Henry to follow her outside. 

“Please close the door” Emma asked carefully and Henry nodded and did as he was told. 

“What's wrong ma?” he frowned. 

“How is Regina holding up? Is she doing good?” Emma asked, feeling almost afraid. 

“Honestly?” Henry asked as his birth mother nodded. “I don't think she is..”  _ just that answer Emma didn't want to hear.  _

“I guess all this is kinda my fault huh?” Emma asked and held her hands over her head, and the shirt showed a bit of her stomach.

“Ma? What's that?” Henry questioned and touched his birth mother's stomach.  _ Fuck.  _

“Ah that's nothing. I fell. You know how clumsy I am, right kid?” Emma shrugged and pulled down her shirt, knowing her son didn't believe that lie for a second. 

 

*****

Regina was standing close to the door, and listening closley to Emma and Henry. She felt terrible for earsdropping, and it wasent her intention to begin with, she just wanted to hear Emma's voice as much as she could. But suddenly she heard Henry ask a question that made her stop breathing for a second. 

_ “Is Hook abusing you?”  _

 

_ ******* _

Regina gasped and didn't know what to do, so she acted on her intuition and opened the door making both Henry and Emma flinch.

“Mom?” 

“Regina?” 

“Is that true miss Swan, is he abusing you?” Regina's voice was sharp, dangerous and remained Emma of how she sounded when the saviour had arrived to Storybrooke all those years ago. Henry looked back at his birth mother and Emma sighed. She knew she couldn't dodge this question, no, not when the Queen was standing and looking straight through her. 

 

“Answer the question miss Swan” 

“Yes… he… yes he beats me.. But only when I deserve it… I guess? I don't know…” Emma's voice shook as well as her whole body. Henry gripped his birth mother's hands and dragged her into a hug but the blonde pulled away. She was panicking. She couldn't do this. She just couldn't do this. Not now. 

 

The Saviour turned around to run but with a wave of the Queen's hand she was back on the front porch again. Emma groaned to herself as she remembered this town had magic. 

“Please Regina. I gotta go. He's gonna wonder where I am.. Please” Emma pleaded and the Queen felt her heart break. This wasn't her Emma. What the hell had Hook done to her? She knew Emma had changed in her behavior since she had gotten involved with that disgusting pirate but it seemed she had become so much more damaged since her honeymoon.

 

******

With a sigh Regina waved with her hand again and let go of Emma. The blonde offered her a smile in reply before she ran to her bug and jumped into it, and drove away.

Regina sunk down on the bench on the porch and Henry joined her. 

“I'm so sorry mom” Henry said carefully. He felt torn. And he knew he had to talk to his grandparents, at least his grandmother who adored Hook. 

 

“I'm so stupid. I knew he was hurting her…” Regina mumbled to herself but Henry heard every word, but before he had a chance to react, she had yet again disappeared in a whirl of purple smoke.

“Ugh I hate magic sometimes…” Henry groaned to himself. He jumped up on his bike and decided to go over to his grandparents.

 

******

When Emma came home to the house, she was relieved that Hook wasn't home but apparently her mother was. Who had even given her a extra key? 

“Emma darling” Snow smiled and hugged her daughter tightly. “I've been waiting for hours. Where have you been?” 

“At Regina's I ehm… I visited Henry” Emma shrugged, imminently avoiding eye contact as she started to do the dishes. “What are you even doing here?” 

“I'm here because of Regina. You have to get Henry to move in with you and keep a distance to that snake of a woman” Snow snarled and the tone in her voice made Emma angry, but she chose to keep quiet and played along in this stupid game. At least for a while. She wanted to hear what her mother was gonna say. 

“Why?” Emma just asked, turning her eyes to her mother. 

“Because Regina wants to tear you and Hook apart!” 

 

*****

Regina appeared in her vault. She needed to be alone. His whole thing with Emma was just stirring up even more chaos than before. The little darkness left in her wanted to rip Hooks heart out off his chest and crush it, but she knew that would only make things worse. The town already saw her as a villan. She leaned over her dad's grave and let her tears roll down her cheeks. 

“Emma, you should have chosen me…” 

 

*****

 

“Ehm what?” Emma frowned and tugged on her underlip, as she tried to process her mother's words. Now here we go. Now she would head ghe whole fairytale bullshit the saviour thought to herself and rolled her eyes.

“I overheard Regina talking to Zelena and she….. She… the evil queen said she had feelings for you! She's gonna rip Hooks heart out and crush it and force you to be with her! Emma she's evil and..” that was the drop for the blonde. She cut her mother of with a growl in her voice.

“That's enough! Regina isn't evil! She's just a human, just as we others here are. You aren't snow-white in this world as she's not the evil Queen so please stop!” 

“Stop what, love?” Hook asked as he entered the kitchen and Emma almost shrunk a bit. The confidence in he whole body only seconds ago, was gone. The power in her eyes was gone, and she looked pale. But that was of course nothing Snow saw. She just walked over and gave Hook a big hug. 

 

****

“Hook I'm so happy to see you. We were just discussing a problem” Snow said and the pirate looked at his wife and then back to her mother. 

“Aye, I guess we are discussing that evil Queen now, aren't we love?” 

“Yes! She has to go! She apparently has feelings for my daughter. Your wife! That's not right in anyway and we have stop her plan!” Snow rambled on and Emma just felt her heart stop. Hook was never gonna let her out of her sight now. Not after hearing this. He just got another reason to hate Regina. The controlling would only get worse, the beating would probably too.  _ Thanks mom.. _

 

_ ****** _

 

_ “ _ Don't worry love, that evil Queen isn't gonna get close to my wife. I promise” Hook grinned to Snow and the woman nodded. 

“I knew I could trust you Killian” she replied. “Now we just have to get Henry out of the house too, right Emma?”

The saviour just stood there and didn't know what to do. Her mind was spinning but when she heard Hook scream her name, she snapped back to reality, knowing her drifting away in her own thoughts, was something she would have to pay for later. 

“Yes Killian” Emma said, almost acting on autopilot. 

“Good. We'll discuss our plan tomorrow.” Snow said and left the house. 

 

****

 

Hook made sure the door was locked before he pushed up Emma against the refrigerator. The blonde felt his hand around her neck and she gasped for air. His eyes were black and his grin made her nauseous. She knew that look. 

“I'll never let you go, love. You're mine” He said and pressed his lips against Emma's as his hand found his way down to her pants. The savior tried to get loose but that only gave her a smack to her face, much to her surprise because Hook never left a bruise where someone could see but now he had just acted on feeling. 

 

Emma felt the taste of blood from her lip and figures her husband's hook had scratched her face. He didn't say a word about it and ordered her to take of her pants. The blonde was to afraid to refuse and did as he said, and minutes later he pressed himself inside of her. The only thing Emma could do was to close her eyes and try to let her mind wonder. 

And of course she thought of Regina.

 

*****

“Henry” David smiled as he opened the door to let his grandson inside. He was more observant than his wife so he immediately saw something was bothering the teenager. “Is something wrong?” he added as Henry closed the door behind him. 

“Hook is a idiot” he blurted out without thinking and his grandfather raised an eyebrow. 

“Huh?” 

“He's abusing ma!” 

 

“That's not true” a voice behind him said and he turned around and saw his grandmother.He rolled his eyes and tugged on his underlip. “That's just something Regina says because she wants Emma for herself” 

“Snow calm down” David warned. He knew what a hot temperament his wife had and especially when it came to her nemesis Regina. 

 

“I saw her bruises!” Henry snapped, suddenly turning around and facing her grandmother. He was taller than her and refused to back down. 

“Regina has magic. She probably used that to trick you!” Snow snarled and gritted her teeth.

“Snow please calm down” David repeated and received a glare from his wife. 

“I know what I saw and I know my mom would never do something like that to trick me. She got as upset as me!” Henry snapped back, taking yet another step against Snow before he left the apartment and banged the door shut behind him. 

 

*****

Emma was still in the kitchen. She hadn't moved since Hook had literally raped her. She had just sunk down on the floor and sobbed. He had gone down to the docks so she was alone and could easily leave the house but she didn't have the strength. 

“How the fuck did I let this happen…” 

 

Emma thought of when Hook hade come into her life. He had been charming, steeped her of her feet and he had been so funny. Hook had taken care of her in a way no other ever had. They had argued a bit in the beginning about stuff, but that just felt trivial to Emma. At least it had then. Now she saw the small warning signs she had been to in love to see. But she frowned at her own thoughts. Had she ever actually been in love with Hook or hade she more been in love with the idea of having someone to call her own? 

 

****

When Regina left the vault, she decided to walk home. She needed some fresh air and on her way she met Ruby. 

“Oh Regina. How are you?” the wolf asked anxiously. She hadn't seen Regina at all, just known she had been to the hospital. 

“Im good miss Lucas. How are you?” 

“Nah I'm good. Just out blowing off some steam. You know, wolf time is upon us” she shrugged and the Queen nodded to her.

“So is Emma home now by the way?” Ruby grinned.

“Yes she is. I've ehm. Yes she's home again” “Ehm Regina, I know we don't actually know each other that we'll, but I have heard Snow ramble on about you at the diner and saying you got feelings for Emma, I just… is that true?” 

 

Regina frowned at the question, but she knew Ruby was to be trusted because she wasn't Snow's so called ‘alley’ anymore. The Queen had even witnessed one time at the diner how Ruby had almost turned into a wolf because snow had made her upset.

******{

Regina looked back at Ruby and sighed. 

“Yes. I have feelings for miss Swan…” Regina shrugged. “but what does that matter? She's married”

“So?” the wolf asked, almost challenging the Queen. “I have waited for you guys to get together for years and that stupid pirate shouldn't be a reason not to give it a shot. You're made for eachother!” Regina listened carefully to Ruby's words. 

 

“I don't know miss Lucas. Snow is up to something and I don't have the strength to fight. I'm tired.” Regina sighed and dragged her fingers through her hair. “I just have to accept the fact Emma is never gonna be mine”

“Stop thinking like that Regina. A queen takes what she wants right?” Ruby smirked. 

“I wish it was as simple a you make it, dear” 

“Well I'm here for you Regina. A wolf can be good in a battle against someone who just can use an bow you know”

*****

Regina invited Ruby to come back to the mansion so they could speak without someone eavesdropping on them. Snow had ears everywhere. 

“Some cider?” Regina asked and the wolf nodded with a grin. She took the glass and followed the Queen into her study. Regina waved with her hand and lighted the fireplace as the both women sat down in each arm chairs. 

“Oh can I join you?” Zelena asked and popped her head into the room and Regina just nodded at her. 

 

“So, what's the plan?” Ruby asked after she had downed her first glass. 

“Plan?” Regina frowned. 

“Yeah we totally need a plan!” Zelena joined in and the Queen just shook her head. She knew her sister and the wolf was right.

 

Regina couldn't just leave this alone. And even if Emma wouldn't return her feelings, she still was her friend and she couldn't turn a blind eye to this disgusting thing that Hook was up to. 

 

*****

It took hours before Emma finally found the strength to stand up. She pulled of her pants and poured herself a glass of water. Her head was spinning and it felt like she couldn't breathe. 

“Ma?” a voice asked and Emma smiled carefully when she saw Henry enter the room. His eyes teared up and he literally ran to his birth mother and embraced her in a tight hug and this time the saviour didn't pull away. “I'm never gonna let him touch you again ma. I promise” 

 

*****

Zelena, Ruby and Regina sat by the fire a long while and talked about. Regina didn't understand how the wolf could have been friends with a person such as Snow. She was so alike Regina and that made her smirk a bit. 

 

Suddenly the door opened with a bang and Regina waved with her hand and teleported herself to the hallway within seconds. 

"Emma..." Regina gasped. 

She ouldn't believe her eyes when she saw Henry practically holding up the whole weight of Emma. She had a big cut in her face and her pants were ripped. The Queen didn't have to ask what Hook had done. She knew. And it made her shiver. 

“Let me take her Henry” Regina said carefully and Emma laid her arms around her and they disappeared in a whirl of smoke. 

*****

They re-appeared in the guestroom and Emma collapsed on the bed. She didn't even climb under the covers. She just curled up into a ball on the bed and started to shake. And it didn't take long before she was crying. The Queens heart ached as she sat on the bed and started to stroke Emma's hair, making the saviour relax a little bit. 

“What have he done to you Emma…” Regina breathed. “My beautiful Swan” 

 

*****

With a simple wave of the Queen's hand she dressed Emma in a pajamas and tucked her in. The blonde looked so defeated as she laid there on the bed. Regina was still sitting on the bedside and their eyes locked. Regina didn't want anything else but to lean in and kiss her but she didn't want to push her broken saviour.

 

So instead she continued to stroke Emma's hair before she finally stood up, knowing Emma needed to rest, but as soon as she had stood up the saviour grabbed the Queens arm. She turned around and met Emma's terrified eyes. 

“Please… please stay with me?” Emma begged and Regina nodded, not sure what she should do. Or say.  _ I don't want to hurt you like he has. _

It ended up with Regina laying down on the bed behind her and carefully wrapping her arms around  _ her Emma.  _ The blonde fell asleep almost as soon she felt the Queens embrace but unfortunately Regina couldn't sleep. Her mind was racing like crazy because she knew that soon someone would take Emma from her again. And it broke her heart.

Regina knew that tomorrow Snow probably would stand outside her door, accompanied by the whole town, screaming about how she had Emma under some spell or something. That she planned to kill Hook. Regina groaned and let her grip around Emma tighten. 

“I'm gonna fight for you Emma…” 

 

*****

The blonde pressed her body so close Regina's as she could, as she was desperate for comfort, warmth and safety. Emma awokened after an hour or so but she didn't dare to move. She didn't want to lose this wonderful feeling of Regina's arms around her, so she laid still with her eyes closed, listing to Regina's words and feeling her heart overflow with love. 

 

“I'm gonna fight for you Emma. You're safe here. I promise. I would never treated you like him. And he's supposed to be the good guy and I'm the bad guy’ Regina whispered, unknowing that the saviour was awake. “I would have treated you better than the biggest treasure in the world. I would have let you be who you are, because thats the person I fell for. And I would never let you fall asleep without knowing how much I love You. Because I Do Emma. I love you so so much” 

 

Emma suddenly wiggled and Reginas grip loosened as the blonde turned around. Regina's first thought was to pull away, but she didn't. She laid still and reached out and touched Emma's face with her hand. It didn't take more then seconds before the awful scar was gone thanks to her magic.

“Regina?” Emma said.

“Mm?” 

“Kiss me” 


	8. The saviour wants her queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments. Keep them coming, as they make me even more motivated to write. :) 
> 
> So here we go!

Regina didn't want anymore then to kiss Emma but she hesitated. The Saviour saw the confusion in the Queen's eyes and offered her a gentle smile. 

“I love you too you know” the blonde said carefully. “And I really fucked up by choosing Hook.”

Regina placed a careful kiss on Emma's forehead and sat up. 

“You need some sleep Miss Swan” she said. “And in the morning we can try to sort out this mess out, okay?” 

“It's gonna be hard, I know. But I'm willing to fight if you are” Emma replied and sat up as she reached for Regina's hands. The queen looked confused by the words she had just heard. 

*****

“And with that I mean, it's time for me to say fuck you to this whole fairytale bullshit and let my heart choose whom I'm supposed to be with instead you know?” 

“Oh?” Regina smirked. “And who does your heart want?”

“The saviour wants her Queen” Emma purred.

“And the Queen wants her saviour” Regina replied and finally leaned in and kissed Emma.  _ Her  _ Emma.

 

******

The kiss was filled with feelings and it also held a promise she would protect the blonde. To  _ any _ cost. Regina would never let go of her now and would never let her get hurt again. 

“I promise you I would keep you safe from here on now miss Swan, because” Regina purred and let her lips brush against Emma's and then added “I love you to” before she pressed her lips against the saviours. 

 

*****

They fell asleep in each others arms that night and Henry smiled when he found them snuggling close the next morning.

“Wow. All hail the Queen.” Ruby smirked and swung her arm around Henry. She had been way to drunk to go home the other night,  so she had crashed on Regina's coach. “What do you say about a grilled cheese at granny's? My treat” 

“Yeah that sounds too good to turn down” Henry smiled back. 

“Then let's go, and let us leave the two lovebirds alone huh?” 

“Yeah”

******

When Emma woke up she didn't realise where she actually was, but as soon as she felt Regina's breath on her neck, the blonde relaxed. She smiled and felt the Queens grip around her only tighten and she knew this was where she belonged and what she always had wanted. To wake up and feel safe. Wanted. Relaxed. Loved.

Emma didn't even remember the last time she had woken up with a smile. Hook had been wonderful in the beginning of their relationship but that was long gone by now. Nowadays when they woke up together Emma just felt the stench of alcohol on his breath and his kisses were sloppy and his hands were clumsy and nothing like Regina's hands were.

*******

“Just wait here kid, and I'll go and fix those grilled cheeses, kay? ” Ruby smiled and disappeared into the kitchen. Henry sat down in a booth and flinched when the door to the diner practically flew open. He ducked down under the table when he saw it was his grandmother, with her bow around her and Hook by her side. 

“Everyone, can I get your attention!” Snow shouted and climbed up on one of the tables. Henry swallowed hard and he didn't like this. Not a bit.

****

“What's all the rackass out in my diner?” Granny huffed and picked out her head.

“What's going on granny?” the wolf asked as she was plating her and Henry's food. Granny huffed when she came back into the kitchen. 

“It's Snow again! I'm so sick of her using my diner as some stage for all her stupid speeches. I swear to God I…” 

“Wait a minute.” Ruby said and cut her grandmother off. “I thought you were friends with her?” 

“Snow-white?” Granny huffed once again. “Not anymore. That was long ago. I actually stand on Regina's side in all this.”

 

*****

The wolf grinned at her when she suddenly realised who was sitting outside in the diner, in all this. 

“Shit! Henry's out there! Fuck! Snow's gonna interrogate him if she sees him! What am I gonna do? I can't sneak him out either.. Fuck…” Ruby mumbled but granny winked at her.

“My dear granddaughter, you know you have the perfect way to get Henry home and also get all these stupid ones out of here”

“Hm?”

“Ruby, what are you deep down inside Hm?” 

“You're a genius!” Ruby grinned and went out into the pantry and transformed to a wolf in just a matter of seconds. 

“Now go and show them your teeth my girl” Granny chuckled and opened the backdoor to her. 

 

*****

“What's wrong Snow?” one of the dwarfs asked anxiously. 

“My daughter is missing! Killian's wife!” Snow replied. 

“Aye!’ Hook said and took a step forward. “And we all know who is to blame, right?” 

“Aye!” 

“Yes! The evil queen!” another dwarf shouted.

“Precisely!” Snow snapped. “She has my daughter under some spell to make her fall in love with her!” 

“Emma belongs to Hook!” someone piped in and granny who was listening from the kitchen shook her had but smirked as she heard the people starting to scream.  _ Give them your best shot Ruby. Show’em your teeth.  _

 

_ ****** _

“Good morning my Queen” Emma purred and Regina smiled at her. 

“I can't believe you're actually here. In my arms…” Regina said carefully and the saviour gave her a smirk. 

“I'm finally where I belong” Emma shrugged and leaned in for a light kiss that made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy. She had taken of her wedding ring last night and now as she was looking into Regina's, she was starting to feel as herself again. 

 

*****

Regina let her fingers gently touch Emma's cheek and she smiled at her. In some way the saviour looked like herself again, and that made the Queen so happy. And having the blonde here, finally in her arms, made her almost cry of happiness. Regina had dreamt about this for so long so it felt almost to good to be true. 

“Regina?” Emma suddenly asked, making the Queen come back to the reality. 

“Yes miss Swan?” 

*****

“I'm sorry for this mess. That I chose Hook, I'm so so sorry for letting it go this far. I guess… I was just so afraid.” Emma shrugged and tugged on her lower lip. “I have always loved you.. Even if you drove me crazy in the beginning, there was still something with you, that caught my attention. Which made me fall for you in a instance. But I was to fucking scared to act on my feelings. And then Hook came into the picture and this whole speech about the fairy dust saying he was my one true love…” 

******

The Queen cut her off with a light kiss on her cheek. She knew this was hard for Emma to say and she didn't want her to feel forced to tell her all this.

“Miss Swan, you don't own me an explanation, dear” 

“No I know, but I want to tell you anway, so just listen, okay?” Regina just nodded and offered the saviour a gentle smile. “And.. God I don't know but… Everything just  happened so fast and suddenly my mom and I was planning a wedding. It was so unreal! But I didn't dare to speak up.” 

*****

“And I remember sometimes when it actually felt like I was standing beside myself and just staring at you know, myself and I just wanted to scream, what the fuck are you doing!? I remember some nights when I cried myself to sleep. Hook was not abusive at first, he was sweet, charming but my mom got obsessed when Blue told her, he was one my true love. And I just wanted to be with you…” 

 

Regina felt her eyes tear up when she heard the saviour’s words. Her heart broke because she knew how Emma had felt. She knew exactly, because it had been the same for Regina when her mother had married her off to king Leopold. 

*******

The queen pulled Emma into a tight hug and kissed her forehead. 

“It's gonna be okay Emma. I promise. You're safe with me. I love you, okay?” Emma looked up and met the Queen's eyes. They were so kind, so calm and so determined. And Emma knew she meant every word she said.

“I was just so afriad to say no to Hook when he proposed. Because I thought I would lose my family if I did… and I didn't want to lose them, you know? But I fucked up everything anyway…” 

“Miss Swan, it's okay. I'm not angry with you” Regina said carefully. 

“I know my Queen, but I can't let go of the guilt. I could have lost you that night. I was so afriad, Regina when Henry told me what had happened. I was so afraid.” 

*****

Regina started to hum as she rocked Emma in her arms. The Saviour was so tense and anxious but after awhile she relaxed and Regina chuckled when she heard the saviour snore.

**“I promise I would protect you against everyone and everything”** Regina whispered as she placed a kiss on Emma's forehead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


	9. It was the Queens turn to save her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and love I've gotten! It really makes me smile! And it makes me want to write more so keep them coming :)

“A wolf!!” someone screamed as Ruby entered the diner. Her eyes were shining yellow and she was showing her sharp teeth with a dangerous growl. Snow turned around and frowned when she saw Ruby. The redhead had been Snow's friend before but not since the curse had broken. 

 

So she figured she was under Regina's spell and took up her bow and was about to shoot an arrow at Ruby but before she could even reach for her arrows, the wolf had grabbed her foot and dragged her down on the floor, making her bang her head on she table and making her unconscious. 

 

Hook just saw it happened and headed for the door as all the others did too, precisely as granny had suspected while Snow was lying on the floor with the growling wolf standing over her. In all the commotion, Ruby accidently scratched Snow in her face, making granny gasp. She knew she had to step in. Henry watched it all under the table and even if he was a teenager, seeing the wolf in action, still made him feel like a giggly, happy little child.

 

*****

Ruby was so angry that she even drooled over Snow, gritting her teeth. Granny knew her granddaughter had still not learned to control her wolf totally so if she didn't stop her, she would devour Snow. 

“Ruby!” the old woman screamed and the wolf looked up at her and backed off Snow, and suddenly the unconscious woman snapped her eyes open. 

 

“What the hell Eugenia!” Snow screamed and once again Ruby was growling at her and showing her teeth. The wolf clawed the floor she was standing on and her ears were slicked backwards. Snow brushed herself  off and stood up, eying Eugenia, who she had thought was her allie. 

“Yes snow-white?” Granny asked with a nonchalant tone as she walked up to her granddaughter and patted her head. The move made the wolf relax at least a bit, but she was still on edge, ready to attack.

“Are you trying to kill me?! Are you also under Regina's stupid spell?!” 

 

“Enough!” Henry snapped and climbed out from the table and faced his grandmother. 

“Henry.” Snow breathed and was about to go up to him but the wolf didn't allow her to even get close to him, so Snow frowned and tugged on her lower lip. 

“Snap out of this delusion grandma, Regina hasn't put anyone under some stupid spell. That's just something you have made up in your mind!” 

 

Snow felt the anger boil inside her. Regina had everyone under her stupid spell and even Henry. It made her furious. Ruby sensed the anger and slicked her ears backwards once again and growled even more. 

“Get out of my diner” Granny snarled at Snow. 

“You're gonna regret this” Snow snapped. “You're all gonna get what's coming to you!” 

“Just get out!” 

 

Snow left the diner with a huff and Henry met Granny's old, wise eyes. 

“I wish she could just accept ma is in love with mom..” Henry shrugged and the wolf, who was suddenly calm nudged him with her head, trying to cheer him up. 

 

******

 

Emma chuckled when she woke up. She had fallen asleep in Regina's arms and the Queen had apparently fallen asleep aswell, with her back against the wall. Emma couldn't understand how she could have chosen Hook over her. Everything with Regina was so beautiful. The Saviour was finally happy, but unfortunately the people around her, like her mother, didn't approve this. She still lived in her fairytale world and had chosen Hook for Emma. And the saviour had just gone with it. 

 

But now Emma would end all that. She was sick and tired of being Hooks punchingbag and fed up off being her mother's stupid fairytale princess. That wasn't who she was. She was Emma Swan. A bad ass girl who could take care of herself. A woman who gone trough hell and back. A survivor. A warrior. Emma had not been herself with Hook. But now she would find herself again. She would be able to light her fire again. And especially with her Queen by her side. 

 

_ It was the Queens turn to save her. Just like the saviour had saved her before. _

 

_ ***** _

Suddenly the door downstairs opened with a bang and Regina snapped her eyes open in a matter of seconds. She waved with her hand and both she and Emma were suddenly in the hallway. 

“Henry! What is…” Regina began but stopped when she saw Ruby as her wolf self next to him. The queen waved with her hand and locked the door and Emma wondered what was going on. But she couldn't shake the feeling of her that this had something to do with her. Ruby grinned at her and transformed back to herself and shrugged. 

“Does anyone care to explain to me what is going on?” Regina asked with a sharp tone. “Or did you just decide to take the wolf for a walk?” 

 

*******

Emma shook her head at what Henry told them. She knew this was her fault. Everything was her fault. 

“Ma, are you okay?” Henry asked as Ruby and Regina went out to the kitchen to get some more coffee. 

“I don't know kid…” Emma shrugged. 

“I'm glad you and mom finally got together” Henry grinned. “I just wanted you to know that” 

“Thanks kid. I appreciate it.” the blonde said. “But I wish it would be easier. Someone is gonna get hurt because of me and I'm terrified that someone is gonna be Regina…” 

 

*****

 

David heard the noise of screaming people when he sat at the station. He wondered what was going on and decided to go outside. He barely got the door open before he almost stumbled into a flock of people. David frowned and wondered what was going on. He walked over to granny's and hoped the old woman could give him some answers. 

 

“Mrs Lucas?” the sheriff asked as he entered the diner. It looked like a war zone with tables turned upside down and there was obvious scratch marks on the floor.  _ What the hell? _

“Oh David, I guess you heard the people huh?” the old lady chuckled and poured him some coffee. 

“That I did. Care to tell me what happened?” he asked as he sipped on his warm coffee. 

 

“Well your wife is on some warpath and went inside her talking about how Regina had put Emma under some spell to make her fall in love with her and Ruby got angry and let her wolf take care of snow, so to speak” 

“I'm sorry for my wife's behavior” David sighed. “And I have tried to talk to her about Emma but she doesn't listen. She doesn't listen…” 

 

****

A sudden knock on the door made the both women tense up and Regina walked up to it and opened it. Outside stood granny with a big smirk, accompanied by the sheriff. 

“Dad?” Emma frowned and walked up to the door. Granny gave Regina a nod and they left the daughter and father alone. 

“Emma, are you okay?” he asked carefully. 

“Well I guess. Kinda. Wait. Are you also in this?” Emma frowned and tugged on her underlip. David shook his head and embraced his daughter. 

“of course not baby, I just want you to be happy. And if you're happy with Regina instead of Hook, I support you” 

 

*****

Granny and Regina were eavesdropping on Emma and David and both women smiled when they heard the sheriff talk. 

“I never thought I would say this, but… David seems okay” Regina shrugged. 

“Yeah he has always just wanted his daughter to be happy. And I don't actually think he ever liked Hook. Unfortunately his wife is the one to decide things…” Granny sighed. 

 

****

 

Emma got tears in her eyes after her father had hugged her and told her she supported her.

“But I thinks it's for the best if you all leave town for a while, at least until I can calm down your mother okay?” David smiled and Emma looked over to Regina who met her eyes. David smiled at her and the Queen didn't exactly know what to say. 

“Dad says he supports us” Emma said and took Regina's hand in hers. 

“You do?” she asked, almost feeling a bit shocked. 

“I may be from the enchanted forest but life here is a bit different. And I don't care about what some fairydust says. If my daughter wants to be with another person then her husband, then so be it. And I don't care about its a women she have chosen and not even that it's you Regina.. The only thing I have always cared about is that she is happy”

 

******

 

“And you have my word David that the only thing I want. To keep Emma happy and keep her safe” The Queen replied with a gentle smile and the Sheriff nodded. 

“Good. Then I'm pleased.” David chuckled, when he suddenly heard Snow's voice behind them. “Go! Leave!” he added and Regina nodded and grabbed Emma. She ran up to Henry, granny and Ruby and with a wave off her hand, they all disappeared in a whirl of purple smoke. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes since I was very eager to put this up, so I couldn't wait for my beta to look it over.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. You can now kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here you have the final chapter! Thank you tory for being my beta and helping me out with the story along the way. 
> 
> And thank you all that have read this story and given me so much nice comments and reviews. You guys rock!

The queen teleported the bunch of them to her vault. She didn't know where else they could go and she sighed and sunk down on the floor. This wasn't her intention, to start a war just because she loved Emma.  
“Regina are you okay?” Emma asked carefully and reached for her Queen's hand. 

The tired woman shrugged and Emma pulled her into a close hug.  
“So what are we gonna do? I'm feeling for hunting some stupid dwarfs” Ruby grinned and granny raised her crossbow in agreement. Henry just sat in silence and watched them all.

*******

“What's the point?” Regina frowned and stood up. “They will never let us be together Emma. It's pointless.”  
“Hey, look at me” the saviour said and Regina met her eyes. “I love you and we belong together. And I will do anything to make sure we can be together. Even if that means stabbing my mom with a sword!” Regina's eyes widened and she waved with her hand, making granny, Ruby and Henry freeze for a moment. She didn't want them to hear this conversation. 

******

 

“Emma that isnt who you are!” the Queens snapped. “You're the saviour, the white Knight and I'm the darkness that everyone despises. And if I walk up there I'm gonna get killed. And I don't want to risk Henry and you to get hurt because of me”  
“I've made my choice now Regina. I'm not their stupid saviour anymore, I'm yours. And this bullshit about me being the white Knight? I have darkness in my soul as well do those idiots out there! My mom included!” 

 

Emma started to pace back and forth in the vault, feeling Regina's eyes on her. This whole mess was her fault. Everything was her fault. If she had been courage enough and turned Hook down and followed her heart instead, none of this chaos would exist. But in someday Regina blamed herself for this. 

******

“What the hell charming! Why did you let them go!” Snow growled and walked up to her husband who had been left in the purple smoke.  
“Because our Daughter is happy with her Snow, she want to be with Regina and that's her own decision! Not ours” Charming shot back as Hook walked up to them. Emma's father just snapped, pushing the pirate backwards, and making everyone around them gasp. 

********

 

“David, hey, calm down! I'm on your side mate!” Hook said as the Sheriff reached for his gun and pointed it straight to his face.  
“I know what you have done to my daughter and I could easily kill you, right here. Right now!”  
“calm down mate, just…”  
“Not one more word” David warned and cut off Hook.  
“Charming what are you doing!” Snow snapped and David had his finger on the trigger.  
“I'm making sure this asshole isn't going near our Daughter again” he growled. 

 

******

“Emma, I should just… It would be so much easier if I wasn't here. If I just was dead” Regina said with tears in her eyes and the blonde frowned. Where was all this coming from? Regina looked so broken and afraid.  
“I won't let anyone hurt you Regina” Emma said carefully and walked closet the Queen. “I'm gonna protect you, okay?”  
“With what? You don't have any magic anymore and you don't have your badge and gun. So what are you gonna fight with? Your hands? Please be realistic miss swan.” 

*****

 

Without another word Regina teleported them back to the mansion. Ruby transformed to a wolf immediately and granny held her crossbow ready. Ruby growled as snow and the crowd took a big step backwards. 

 

“There she is!” grumpy shouted and pointed against the Queen. She had made sure she was standing a bit for herself and Emma knew it was on purpose. The Saviour held Henry with shaking hands and wachted as her mother took up her bow and aimed it against Regina.  
“Now it ends Regina.” Snow snarled and shot an arrow that hit Regina straight in the heart.  
“Noooo!!” Emma screamed and ran over to the Queen. She held her in her arms and started to cry. 

“Regina… no. Don't leave me… I need you.. I love you! I have chosen you instead” Emma whispered and placed a kiss on Regina's forehead, and suddenly everything became white. 

 

******

Emma blinked her eyes open and suddenly saw she was back at her weddings, but instead of having Hook standing there with her by the altar, it was Regina. The Saviour couldn't believe her eyes. How had this happened? What had even happened? 

She felt the magic swirl in her body and fingers and suddenly she felt Regina's hand in hers as Archie announced them married. The crowd cheered and Hook was nowhere to seen. Regina grabbed her wife's hand and met the saviours eyes. Emma was still clueless and wondered if she was dreaming. 

 

“You can now kiss” Archie said and Regina leaned in and pressed her lips gently against Emma's and the saviour once again felt the magic inside her, tingling in her fingertip. 

******

As the married couple sat down by the table to eat, Regina smiled at her.  
“I can't understand what is happening. The last thing I remembered was you dying in my arms? Or was that a dream?” Emma frowned. “I'm confused”  
“You made the right choice Emma. And your magic returned when you kissed me. It's quite hard to explain” Regina purred and pulled her saviour closer, lowering her voice so just the two of them heard her words.  
“Hook isn't in the picture anymore. You altered the past. It's like he have never existed.” 

Emma almost gasped. Had she gotten her magic back? The savour grinned and pulled her Queen, her wife, into a kiss. With her lips still against Regina's Emma said.  
“I have chosen you instead my Queen” 

 

The end!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold your eyes open for more fics, because I have so much ideas! In the meanwhile you can check out my other Swanqueen fic "Don't judge a book by its cover" 
> 
> Thanks again for all the love and sorry for any grammar mistakes. 
> 
> Love you all!


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